


Getting off on a technicality

by orphan_account



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, High School AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 14:11:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6332281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 'oh shit My microphone is still on and I'm here raving about my crush not realising she can hear me' Swan Queen AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting off on a technicality

**Author's Note:**

> That moment when you're procrastinating so hard you write a 3000+ fic. This is the first piece of creating writing I've done since my English GCSE so please bear with me I know the writing is dodgy at best, hopefully it can improve. I'm still setting up my tumblr but the url will be whitegoldcrowns . I own nothing. Thank you for reading!

School theatres have the worst microphones

Emma

The deep red curtains hit the edge of Storybrooke High’s finest theatre stage with a thunk. Okay so perhaps finest stage was a bit of a stretch. In fact it was the only stage in the school and it could use some serious repainting, but Emma Swan was on a high, and she would have happily declared any place she stood the finest in the world. The faint round of applause that still filtered through the heavy drapes made the past three months’ worth of blood sweat and tears completely worth it. All previous quarrels over roles, dialogue and the direction of the play were forgotten as the cast of the school’s production of ‘The Rivals’ rode out that particular wave of exhilaration that only comes with the end of a closing night performance. Emma was in a complete daze as she was sandwiched between her fellow actors in a group hug of tears, laughter and extremely puffy skirts. The blonde reflected on how she was virtually forced into the play by her school councillor Archie who declared she needed to ‘put herself out there’ and thanked her lucky stars that Archie’s annoying need to meddle in her life had finally paid off. Not that she would ever admit that to him. Or anyone. Ever. Despite her initial reluctance to re-enact such a ridiculous piece of work with even more ridiculous costumes Emma found herself making friends with almost the entire cast and eventually landing the main role of Lydia Languish. Mary Margaret, David and Ruby were admittedly some of the funniest and kindest people that the blonde had ever met, they all welcomed her with open arms (and a few well-placed innuendos from Ruby) and she knew that their friendship would last her well beyond the play. She was eternally grateful to have met them as beforehand she only had a handful of vague acquaintances. This was not because Emma was shy by any accord, most people seemed to like her but she had a tendency of pushing any potential friends away. The trio was having none of it, however, as her constant excuses of “I’m busy”, “I have homework” and “I’m sorry I prefer sitting alone” were only met with deadpan looks that said ‘sure you do’ and she was physically forced (mainly by David, sometimes by Ruby) into spending time with them.

Emma was suddenly snapped out of her thoughts by a harsh tug on her very, very, very tight dress and a beaming brunette with a violent red streak in her hair yelling “Earth to Emma!”

“I’m right here Ruby what is it?” Emma turned to her with a raised eyebrow.

“We have to head to the changing rooms. Maybe you want to be stuck in this death contraption when we head out to mingle with the audience but I can’t last another second.” Ruby paused before adding with a smirk “… unless there is someone you’re trying to impress tonight in which case your cleavage has my full support” the statement was topped off with an exaggerated eyebrow waggle that was met with a glare from two bright green eyes.

The brunette turned on her heel and all Emma could do was follow her into the inner corridors of the old theatre that led down into the tiny changing rooms. The pair didn’t bother untangling themselves from the wiring of the ancient microphones they were given as they both knew that it would be too much hassle. It was the techie’s job to make sure all equipment was switched off after each performance so they wouldn’t be overheard as they headed deeper into the dusty labyrinth that was the school’s performing arts sector. What the pair weren’t aware of, however, was that said techie was currently too wrapped up in his girlfriend Astrid to care about such details and the little red lights that signified microphones 2 and 6 were still on, were shining as brightly as ever.

When Emma and Ruby finally reached their destination they wasted no time in clawing at the laces of their humongous dresses in an attempt to get some air.

“Congratulations Swan, that was by far your most outstanding performance” said Ruby as she finally managed to pry her corset apart.

“Thanks Rubes” the blonde murmured while a bright red blush overtook her face. Her own dress was more reluctant to fall apart and after a lengthy struggle and she turned to a now hoodie and jeans clad Ruby for help.

“I’m sure it had absolutely nothing to do with a certain dark eyed, broody brunette that finally came to see your show” Ruby gave Emma a smug knowing look.

“Shut up Ruby” shot Emma as she donned her very own jeans and hoodie combo.

“Come on Emma we all know it’s true”

The worst part was, it absolutely was true. Emma had spotted Regina in the audience, and after a disbelieving gasp she proceeded to act her heart out in hopes of impressing the beautiful brunette with her skills. The crush that Emma had harboured since she smacked into Regina in 2nd grade in the middle of the playground had only been getting worse lately. Emma often found herself losing focus in class in favour of gazing at the sheer perfection that she believed Regina Mills to be. The Latina was extremely popular, extremely smart and to top it all off extremely gorgeous and Emma stood absolutely no chance against that combination. After the embarrassing incident of 2nd grade, however, Emma decided that her best course of action was to steer very clear of the object of her affection. It’s not like the troublemaker of a foster kid who barely got good enough grades to pass was even significant enough to be on Regina’s radar. So the blonde was very content in watching her growing and developing (especially the developing part) from afar, thank you very much. This sadly did not stop her from fantasising about the other girl on a constant basis, and her friends eventually picked up on her sudden loss of attention whenever Regina walked by, and would tease her about it mercilessly.

“You know you’re going to have to tell her eventually” chirped Ruby in her sing-song voice.

“You know I can’t” countered Emma “not only is she extremely straight but she is so far out of my league it’s laughable”.

“That’s bullshit and you know it” Ruby slapped her hand on the table for emphasis. “That girl is about as straight as a circle and it’s not up to you to decide who she will and will not like”

Emma was getting slightly irritated by this point. “Gee Ruby you’re completely right” she said, her voice laced with copious amounts of sarcasm. “I can imagine just how well that conversation would go down: ‘Hi Regina, I know you absolutely despise me because I once knocked you over on the playground but I’m kind of low-key in love with you, so how about we put all that behind us and go on a date?’”

“Emma honestly, you were seven. How do you even remember that? How long are you going to cling to that pathetic excuse?” Ruby raised her eyebrows in expectation.

Emma sighed. “As long as it takes Rubes. I really, really like her. So what if I want to stay in my little bubble where she can’t reject me for a little while longer?”

“Fine, fine, I’m sorry. We really should head back down to the stage, they’ll be expecting us to socialise” Ruby grabbed Emma’s hand and dragged her along. “Just wait till I tell Ms Nolan that the real reason you were so excellent tonight has dark red lips and a very impressive cleavage. She was so proud of that little speech she gave us beforehand” she cackled evilly.

“Don’t you dare break her heart Rubes she worked so hard” Emma tugged on the hand ruby still had clasped around her lips “hang on; we still have our mics on”. Not wanting to appear in public with the metal around their faces the two took their time untangling from the devices before once again heading down to the stage.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Regina

Regina was highly unused to attending school plays but she had to admit the production was excellent. The costumes were extremely detailed as were the props and the acting was actually good enough to make the play genuinely funny. The brunette caught herself stifling laughter many times and she prided herself in her ability to maintain a stoic expression. She felt slightly odd sitting on her own but she hadn’t told her friends she wanted to see it in case they asked questions. Mal would be sure to drawl something along the lines off “but darling school productions are so amateur, why in the world would you ever want to see one?” Regina wanted to avoid that particular topic at all costs. Why did she go out of her way to sneak away from her parents for a shoddy school play? She had no idea what had possessed her. It was most certainly not due to the fact that she overheard that Emma Swan was the lead role. Regina absolutely refused to admit that it had anything to do with the way the girl’s blonde locks bounced as she walked and how she always failed to pin down her eye colour because it was constantly changing. No, Regina Mills was the very pinnacle of class and she definitely did not have a stupid schoolgirl crush. She had recently found herself drawn to the incredibly kind but very closed Emma and twice in the last week she had actually been distracted enough by her presence in the hallway to walk into inanimate objects. The girl just looked good that’s all. She was allowed to objectively appreciate the stunning looks of her fellow students, aesthetics and all that. That did not however explain the jolt she experienced when brown eyes locked with green, or the way she had to bite her lip afterwards to contain a smile that was threatening to take over her face.

Regina begun to gather her things when the fall of the curtain indicated the end of the play. She knew that the custom on the final night was to stay and talk to the cast and other members of the audience, but she was worried someone might question her presence. Her hast exit was unfortunately slowed down when she realised she couldn’t locate her cell phone and had to rummage through all the belongings. She could hear the chatter of the actors until there was a sudden series of loud thumps and shrieks of static which she assumed was down to the cast taking off their microphones by the stage. Strange, she thought, she might not know much about theatre but she was fairly certain that microphones were supposed to be switched off as soon as the play ended. Clearly whoever was in charge of them was doing a very poor job.

“Congratulations Swan that was by far your most outstanding performance”

Regina immediately recognised Ruby’s distinctive voice as it boomed through the seating area. The audience suddenly went very silent as they realised the girl didn’t know she could be heard. Regina wasn’t surprised, Storybrooke high was known for its extreme need for constant gossip and this was surely golden material.

“Thanks Rubes”

At this point Regina joined the rest of the crowd in a still silence. She wondered whether she should go down and tell them they could be heard but she didn’t feel she knew them well enough. She didn’t even realise that she was holding her breath in anticipation, just as eager to eavesdrop on the friends’ private conversation as the rest, albeit for different motives. Regina had never really heard the girl speak much. Sure she answered things in class but Regina finally had the chance to get to know Emma Swan a little bit better and she wasn’t above passing it up.

“I’m sure it had absolutely nothing to do with a certain dark eyed, broody brunette that finally came to see your show”

Regina seethed. How dare she. Why is it that the only time she has feelings for another person the person in question has to have feelings for someone else. Sure, there had been rumours that Jones was suddenly taken with the green eyed blonde but she hadn’t actually expected her to return anything for that vile, slimy, dirty, uncouth…UGH! She practically had steam coming out of her ears as she glared intensely at the back of Killian’s head. She was suddenly very much regretting her decision to stay in the audience.

“Shut up Ruby”

Regina wholeheartedly agreed with this sentiment as her rage continued to build up. It was just SO.DAMN.UNFAIR! Regina chastised herself for even thinking that the blonde may not be entirely straight for a second. She suddenly began to gather her stuff with a renewed vigour and prominent scowl. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

“Come on Emma we all know it’s true”

Regina had made her way through the crowd of zombies that were too hypnotised by the speakers to notice anything else that went around them. She was almost at the door when Ruby spoke her next words.

“You know you’re going to have to tell her eventually”

Oh yes, she mused, of course she did. She had to tell that trash bag of a guy so they could have a perfect wedding and stupid perfect green eyed child- WAIT A SECOND, HER?! Regina froze with a hand on the door leading out of the auditorium. She can’t have possibly heard that right. Congratulations Regina, she thought with a frown, you have it so bad that you’re now hallucinating.

“You know I can’t, not only is she extremely straight but she is so far out of my league it’s laughable”

Regina’s heart raced, she could feel it pumping all the way down to her toes. She didn’t dare to move in case this was all a wild dream. Emma was gay. Or at least not 100% straight. She may actually stand a chance. Well, she sighed slowly as she took her hand off the handle breaking her rigid stance, she could have if the girl was not so clearly infatuated with someone else. Regina’s smile had turned sad as she leaned against the door.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. That girl is about as straight as a circle and it’s not up to you to decide who she will and will not like”

As much as she hated the feeling, she had to agree with ruby. She herself may have been fairly liked but the absurd idea of leagues was completely arbitrary and entirely unnecessary. The fact that Emma’s crush was actually obtainable made her heart squeeze in unpleasant ways but she knew she was going to have to suck it up and at least exit with some dignity left.

“Gee Ruby you’re completely right. I can imagine just how well that conversation would go down: ‘Hi Regina, I know you absolutely despise me because I once knocked you over on the playground but I’m kind of low-key in love with you, so how about we put all that behind us and go on a date?’”

The brunette in the auditorium was once again frozen on the spot as the hundred or so pairs of eyes that surrounded her immediately turned towards her. The look on her face was one of pure shock.

“Well shit Mills, looks like you have a not-so-secret-anymore admirer” shouted some guy from the front row.

Someone else responded on her left “Poor girl. At least she realises that she is way over her head.”

Regina didn’t appreciate being the centre of the spectacle so she stepped backwards and finally managed to make her way out of the room. Thankfully no one followed her as she leaned back against the nearest wall gasping for breath. Once she regained her footing after that humiliating show, she finally had a moment to focus on what caused it. Emma liked her. Emma LIKED her. Emma liked HER. This time Regina couldn’t stop the smile spreading all over her face.

“Emma honestly, you were seven. How do you even remember that? How long are you going to cling to that pathetic excuse?”

Regina nearly jumped out of her skin. She had entirely forgotten that the speakers linked to the stage lined all the hallways and changing rooms in the surrounding area. The Latina very much wanted to find Emma and Ruby but, as she rarely frequented the drama sector, she had no idea where to start.

“As long as it takes Rubes. I really, really like her. So what if I want to stay in my little bubble where she can’t reject me for a little while longer?”

Regina didn’t think her smile could get any wider but apparently she was wrong. She set off to her right in hopes that following that labyrinth rule would also apply to finding specific changing rooms.

“Fine, fine, I’m sorry. We really should head back down to the stage, they’ll be expecting us to socialise. Just wait till I tell Ms Nolan that the real reason you were so excellent tonight has dark red lips and a very impressive cleavage. She was so proud of that little speech she gave us beforehand”

Regina was suddenly very glad for the ensemble she chose to wear tonight, although she cringed slightly at Ruby’s crassness. Her heels echoed as she searched the halls but soon she started to question her little impromptu trip as it became very apparent that she was hopelessly lost. She looked around in hopes of some form of salvation but found none and decided there was nothing for it but to continue walking.

“Don’t you dare break her heart Rubes she worked so hard. Hang on; we still have our mics on”

After that all Regina heard was the telltale thumps that signified the removal of microphones. It felt strange to be in complete silence even though the conversation had realistically been very brief. The brunette’s feet were starting to ache and she was seriously getting worried that she would never get out of there. After another couple of minutes of hopeless wandering, Regina decided to pick up her pace. This in itself was harmless, but as she put her head down to glare at the tiles, with her arms crossed over her chest her vision was severely obscured. When she turned another identical looking corner she collided with another body. Hard. She couldn’t decide whether she was extremely happy to have found a saviour or annoyed that said saviour was the cause of the bruises she surely now had. As she looked up, however, any cause for animosity disappeared when she spotted a pair of piercing green eyes and a waterfall of golden curls, elegantly pinned up from the play.

“Ahem”

Regina looked up to see that Ruby was standing directly behind her friend.

“I’m going to go ahead, stay and make sure Regina is okay, Emma”

Regina raised her eyebrow at Ruby’s attempt at subtlety but she couldn’t find fault with her plan so she let it go.

“Hey” Regina returned her attention to Emma who was now on her feet smiling shyly and extending her hand to help Regina up.

“Hey” Regina grasped her hand and felt a shot of adrenaline at the contact. Emma, however, entirely underestimated how her strength would correspond to Regina’s weight and ended up pulling way too hard. This resulted in two very flustered teenagers in an awkward embrace. Regina couldn’t say that she minded being in such close proximity to Emma. The blonde made a move to disentangle herself from Regina.

“Wait” Regina had no idea what had prompted her to say this but she decided that this was it. All or nothing. Emma turned to her with wide questioning eyes. She cocked her head to the side and Regina softly smiled at how much she resembled a puppy in that moment.

“First of all I think there is something that I need to tell you” stated Regina.

“What?” Emma was barely capable of basic coherency when she was less than ten centimetres from Regina’s face.

“I don’t really know how to break this to you gently but I feel you should be prepared. Your microphone wasn’t switched off when you left the stage so the audience has heard everything you and Ruby said before you took them off”

The blonde’s face was absolutely priceless. Her featured twisted into a look of pure horror.

“Does that mean you heard it all too?” Emma held her breath waiting for the answer.

“Yes dea-“

“Regina, I am so incredibly sorry. You must have felt so humiliated! I’m so stupid. God Regina is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

Regina smiled at Emma’s wrong assumptions and was met with an even more confused look.

“You can kiss me, you idiot”

And kiss her she does.

In the middle of an empty hallway, on a cold night in March, Emma Swan cups Regina’s face and pulls her in for their very first tender kiss, neither aware of the fact that their lips would never kiss anybody else’s but each other’s ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :* All criticisms are more than welcome and comments/ kudos greatly appreciated. Viva La Swan Queen!


End file.
